"Some sort of date, in a year possibly
residing in the now, this is Cybertron News!"
The camera pans into Breakdown and Inferno, both sitting behind their desk as usual.
"Good evening world, this is Cybertron New At Now, I'm Breakdown."
"And I am Inferno! Imperial warrior to The Queen! YOU WILL ALL BOW! NYAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Breakdown let out a sigh, "Ya know, its like, every freakin'
day. Just shut up! And stop starin' at me!"
"THE CAMERA
PLOTS YOUR DEMISE!"
Breakdown quivered for a moment before getting
up and running towards the nearest window, "They'll never take me alive!" Breakdown jumped out!
Inferno sat back down. "Ahem. Now that the usual has been completed, on to the news. The whatever
it's called Comicon is underway and with it came news of new Animated figures. Voyagers Longarm and Shockwave were revealed.
As were deluxes Cliffjumper, Blurr and Swindle. Though they look intriguing, one must ask Hasbro, WHERE AM I!? FOOLISH TOY
COMPANIES!!!"
Breakdown hobbled in, "Actually, there is
a new G1 styled Inferno being released. Looks spiffy. Also Cyclonus with targetmaster Nightstick and Hound with Ravage were
revealed, they all look ripe for any collector of children's play things."
Inferno's optic twitched. "A PRETENDER INFERNO!?!?"
"Technically, your the pretender Inferno. Hey, at least you didn't come with a rubbery shell."
"GNAAAYAAYAYAYAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!" Inferno roared as he rampaged
through the set! He split the table with a mighty hammer-fist and whipped out his flamethrower. "I SHALL RETURN! I MUST EXACT
MY VENGEANCE UPON HASBRO TOY EXECS!" His abdomen split open and he choppered through the already broken window.
"Sure." Breakdown faced the camera again. "Despite this seemingly
endless degree of similar repetitive destructive antics...hey who wrote that? Nevermind, we now send you off to Hubcap with
a report on today's economic trends."
Hubcap cleared
his vocal processor as the camera pans in, "Yes, well. Current economic trends lean towards the probability of WERE ALL DOOMED!!!"
The camera zooms out to reveal a safe and a ton of credits and energon. "Every mech for himself!" Hubcap scrabbled to stuff
all the loot into the safe. He jammed the door shut and heaved it over his shoulder, "Screw femmebots and protoforms! Minibots
first! Their not gonna foreclose on this mech!" he ran off at a surprising pace. A door slammed. Tires squealed. A jetliner
took off. And he was gone.
The camera again comes back to Breakdown.
"Thank you for that interesting report Hubcap. What's that? This just in! Hasbro execs have announced a new Inferno figure!
How did this transpire? Doesn't take a genius to guess...Oh and there's a new Cheetor, but who cares about that? We now bring
you the latest in celebrity news, Cryotek is on the scene."
"Hello? Hello?"
"Yes Cryotek? Are you there?"
"HELLO?!"
"What?!"
"Oh. Yes Breakdown
it was sad news today." Cryotek said as he struggled to hear in his little audio receptor mic thingy. He stood in front of
a swanky Los Angeles restaurant.
"It appears
that Britney Spears has oops I done it again. She was photographer, smoking in front of her child and he was photographed
with the pack of death sticks in his tiny doomed hands. We look forward to covering this kid's life until he ODs at the age
of 14 Breakdown. Yes, all these fallen celebrities sure are seedy and can't be trusted."
"....why are you in front of a restaurant?"
"Oh, well they didn't pay their protection money for this month. I just thought I'd kill two birds with a single stone."
Cryotek steps through the roof and begins obliterating all the occupants. "This just in Breakdown, a local LA restaurant is
under attack!" he yelled with a grin.
Breakdown is
seen slamming his head against the desk. "That does it for this round of whatever this thing is. Until next time, stop starin'
at me."
Inferno flies in at the last possible moment,
"And I am Inferno! New Vice President of Hasbro Inc.! GOOD-NIIIIGGGGHHHT!!!" he roared.
The camera panned backwards and the lights dimmed.
