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APRIL 21st
"April somethin or another, doesnt matter, 2008" stated the commentator.
Que upbeat newsy
music as the lights come on and the camera swoops in to two mechs sitting behind a large table.
"Hey Cybertron, welcome
back to your best worst spot for breaking news that has already broken, I am Breakdown."
"AND I AM INFERNO!!!"
"Right."
The camera focuses on Breakdown. "We have some interesting movie news for you that ya might already know. It appears that
Transformers director Michael Bay has confirmed that everything leaked about the upcoming Transformers 2 is a lie. Although
this was highly speculated as before he said there would be false information, we here at Cybertron News woulsn't be surprised
if his confimation of leaked information being a lie was in fact another lie."
Inferno jumps in front of Breakdown
to be in front of the camera. "LIAR! YOU WILL BURN IN THE PRESENCE OF THE ROYALTY! YOU. WILL. BUUUUUURRRRRNNNNNN!"
"Get
your aft outta the way!" Breakdown shoves Inferno to the side. "Anyways, in toy news it seems that Hasbro has confirmed that
the first wave of the Animated line has been released in the Cincinatti area in anticipation for Botcon 2008."
"WE
HERE ON CYBERTRON ALREADY HAVE THOSE FIGURES! MUCH TO THE DISMAY OF YOU PETTY WEAK HUMANS!" yelled Inferno from off-camera.
"Shut
up! And now we go to Inferno for some of the latest on the Animated tv show."
The camerea pans to Inferno who is solely
concentrated on two Animated figures, one in each hand. One appears to be Megatron while the other appears to be Optimus Prime.
A moment passes before he looks up at the camera and embarressedly hides them behind his back. "Yes! Yes, well. The next show
like we said before is Return of the Headmaster! And I proclaimed it to be weak as humans are weak. I WAS RIGHT! I haven't
seen it, BUT HUMANS ARE WEAK AND MUST BE DESTROYED! THEY MUST BURN! BUUUURRRRNNNN!!!!"
The camera goes back to Breakdown
who is staring at Inferno like he's crazy, because he is. "Um, okaaaay. Now we go to Trypticon for the weather."
Outside,
the chopping noise of a helicopter can be heard as the cameramech inside focuses on the monumental Trypticon.
"FORECASTS FOR TOMORROW: EARTHQUAKES!!!"
he roared as he slammed his mighty foot into the ground, shaking everything around him.
In
the studio, Braekdown holds two fingers to his ear as he attempts to communicate with Trypticon. In the background, Inferno
can be seen laughing maniacally as he squishes the Animated Prime toy with the Megatron toy. "Interesting. Earthquakes you
say. I thought I felt a tremble. Anything else in the foreseable future?"
"DESTRUCTION AND CHAOS WILL RAIN!!!
ALSO, EXPECT DELAYS ON ROUTE 64 AS I OBLITERATE IT WITH MY RAGE!!!
"Hmmm, Route 64 is near our building." commented Breakdown.
Then
camera zips in to Inferno who has made a makeshift miniature throne out of pencils, pens and wadded up paper and has placed
the Megatron figure upon it. At it's base lies the now headless and crispy Prime figure.
"There is nothing of remote
interest left to report about. So we now pass you on to sports with that scheming spider Tarantulus who will burn. YOU HEAR
ME SPIDER!? YOU. WILL. BUUUUURRRRNNN!!!"
Video footage with the text "this video was previously recorded" at it's bottom,
show a shaky camera approaching Tarantulus from behind. In his lair and typing madly at his console, he constantly looks up
at his many monitors.
Tarantulus then noticed a disturbance in the air and turned around, his optics grew wide, "Get
out of here Waspinator! I told you to never intrude in my lair!"
You can't hear Waspinator's buzzing in the background.
"I
know nothing on sports! What are you even talking about?! Where did you get that camera!? How did you even find my lair!?
Get out! Get out, get out, get out!"
With that the camera falls to the ground and several explosions ensue. The screen
turns to static as you hear screaming and someone screeching, "My lair! My beautiful lair!"
The camera focuses on Breakdown
and Inferno. Inferno is begining to light the papers before him on fire. "Thats it for the news Cybertron, I'm Breakdown...."
Inferno
says nothing as he's too consumed by watching his fire grow.
Breakdown nudges Inferno, "Read the screen." he whispered.
Startled, Inferno looks up, "Inferno needs no telleprompter! You will burn! All of you! BUUURRRRNNNN!" Inferno leaps over
the table and began scorching every member of the production team with his flamethrower as the camera pans out and the lights
dim.
"This has been Cybertron news..." the announcer lets out a sigh, "Whatever, this doesn't matter. Can I get paid
now Swindle?"
The building shakes as Trypticon crushes them all.
APRIL 17th
"April 17th, 2008" stated the commentator.
Que upbeat newsy music as the lights
come on and the camera swoops in to two mechs sitting behind a large table.
Breakdown pretends to scribble something
before looking up at the camera, "Whats up Cybertron, I'm your host Breakdown and to my right..."
"I AM INFERNO! ALL
HAIL THE ROYALTY!"
"Yes, nice. And on to the news. There has been some new images bein' shown at Tformers.com of the
upcoming Takara Tomy Encore reissue figures. Check it out to see pics of the highly anticipated Metroplex, Skywarp and Thundercracker.
You can also see some shots of some of the upcoming Marvel TF Crossover figures in Spiderman, The Incredible Hulk, Ironman
and Venom."
"Surely it shall amuse The Colony more then those pathetic Star Wars crossover figures. Not to mention
Henkei! Sunstreaker, Prowl, Ramjet and Skyfire are there." added Inferno.
"Yup, check 'em out at this link." A link
flashes onto the screen: http://tformers.com/transformers-new-takaratomy-encore/9303/news.htmlThe camera pans over to Inferno, "Some leaked images of the highly sought after Animated Blitzwing
toy can be found here."
http://tformers.com/transformers-1st-look-at/9299/news.html"The design is set to be a Deluxe to some collector's dismay and surely lacks the zeal that is
The Queen."
Back to Breakdown: "And on to movie news with everyone's favorite Jazz."
Jazz stands to their right,
"Despite being killed off in the last movie, Michael Bay has ignored all of my advances to halt production of Transformers
2. In an issued statement the cat says, and I quote: "It is regrettable the loss of Jazz. But the demise of at least one Autobot
was nessesary to keep with the realism of the movie."
Jazz looks up at the camera. "And a giant friggin cube turning
into a hand-held piece of dice ain't realistic enough. Back to you guys."
"Interesting!" commented Breakdown. "And
now to Mirage with the weather."
The camera pans to a weather chart but Mirage is no where to be seen. "The weather
tomorrow will be clear. Get it?"
"AND NOW, MUSIC TRENDS WITH COMMUNICATION'S OFFICER SOUNDWAVE!" roared Inferno.
Soundwave
walked into the camera's view, "Nu-age pop punk contaminint detected. Recommended course of action: annihilation. Soundwave
superior, latest Kanye West effort inferior."
"And finally, we have some additional tv news to lend to your burning
optics." said Breakdown. "The newest Animated showing will be The Return of The Headmaster and it will air this Saturday.
Will it be as successful as the highly acclaimed episode The Elite Gaurd?"
"PROBABLY NOT!" Inferno said enraged for
no apparent reason, becoming increasingly hostile and slamming his fist into the table. "WHEN WILL THEY LEARN THAT HUMANS
ARE WEAK AND UNINTERESTING!"
"Yup, it's true. Well thats it for the news Cybertron. I'm Breakdown."
"AND IM
INFERNO!" screamed Inferno as he brandished his flamethrower, again for no reason.
"And remember, stop starin' at me!"
Breakdown gives a slight salute as the camera pans back and the lights fade. He turns to Inferno to talk about nothing then
runs as Inferno pressure cooks his immediate area, laughing maniacally all the way.
"This has been, Cybertron News
at Six." stated the commentator.
Cybertron News at Now Archive
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